


Monsters

by candyxcane



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Captain America - Freeform, F/M, James Buchanan Barnes - Freeform, Monsters, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, civil war never happened bc that's stupid, i suck at summary so yeah the title and summary says it all, instead they all find bucky and life happily ever after
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 19:40:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6870820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candyxcane/pseuds/candyxcane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe us monsters need to stick together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for my English, I'm not from an English speaking country.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING :) 
> 
> check out my tumblr if you want, www.write-the-love-story.tumblr.com

"Why are you with me, Y/N?" Bucky asked, his eyes dropped to his fiddled fingers. He just had another nightmare, different one every night it's been a few years since he settled in Avengers Tower, but the nightmare never stops.

"I'm a mess, Y/N! I'm broken beyond repair, I'm a burden to you, to everyone! I'm a monster!" He continued, his hands running through his hair, his eyes watering. It wasn’t every night he would wake up and blaming, hating himself unless the nightmare is _really that bad._

He hate himself and what he become despite the fact that it was never his choice. The relationship is fairly new to both of you and no matter how many times he has wake you up at night, you accept him just the way he is. Bucky has his doubts and his demons, but aren't we are all? You love him knowing his tendencies. It doesn't matter to you, to you it's just a small glitch in life that you are willing to take.

"Bucky," She sighed, grasping his hands to stop him fisting his hair, "Stop it, please you are not a burden! You are not a monster!" She whispered, her tone caused Bucky to stop spitting hateful words towards himself.

"But, Y/N, I'm a monster, I kill people, I-"

"You were brainwashed!" You cried out, your hands moving around as you spoke, "You are not a monster, we are all a monster, Buck. In this line of work, at some point we did something that make us monster, and if you are a monster then I'm worse than you, Buck," Your voice softened in the end as she avoided his stare.

A silent. A god damn fucking silent.

"No, you are not, what are you talking about?" Bucky asked, forehead furrowed, he fisted the hem of his shirt. _What is she talking about?_

"They didn't tell you do they?" You scoffed, "Of course they didn't."

"Tell me what?" Bucky asked, confused and curious by your statement.

"Why I'm an Avengers?"

"They tell me you are good at what you are doing,"

"That's true, but we are more alike than you think, Bucky, before S.H.I.E.L.D got to me, I-" You exhaled a breath you didn't know was holding, also avoiding his stare. "I-You kill people because you were brainwashed, I kill people because that's what I do. I was born to do it, it runs in the family. I feel no remorse for every blood I shed, but that's the thing Bucky, after so many kills I think I was just numb and that the reason why I don't feel remorse, but when you stop being numb, everything hurts," She turned from the window to him. "If you are a monster then what I am?"

Bucky didn't say anything, he was shocked. You've been in a relationship for six months, know you for three years and yet he didn't know about this? He moved closer to you and pulled you into a hug. A sob coming out of your mouth, Bucky didn't care if you stained his shirt or make a mess. In that second he's starting to understand so many things. He understand why Steve or you never stop helping him, he understand why he need to stop blaming himself, he understand why he need to recover. It's all because of you, Steve, and everyone who believe in him. He need to get better. _So many times you had comfort him, one time he had comfort you._

"Please, remember that you are no monster nor a burden, we all love you. I love you. Everything hurts now, but in the end you'll get better and that's all that matters," You whispered against his chest, listening to every beat of his heart, "Your heart beat is the prove that you are human, and humans never give up, my love,"

"What makes you stop being numb?" Bucky curiously asked, secretly trying to read your expression afraid that he'll offend you.

"You."

"Me?"

"Yeah, when I first met you and I looked into your eyes, they feel familiar to me. It's like I'm staring right back at me. But then there's you, as you. A good person, James Buchanan Barnes who loves his best friend more that anything, I fell in love with you, with every fiber of you. God, I love you so much, I’ve never been human in a long time, Buck but you make me feel human again,"

"I love you too, doll," Bucky grinned, he's glad that he got someone like you and Steve to help him, to show him what humanity feels like. "I don't think I could ever repay you for what you've done to me,"

"Then don't. I just want you to be happy, to be content with yourself, that's enough for me," You said, laying back down on the bed, cuddled up with Bucky with his arms around you. He sighed in content, he's happy to be in your arms, he's happy to be in your life, he's happy to be with you even if his nightmare is hunting him down. _All the pain will pass._

"Get some sleep, Buck," You whispered again, slowly moved to kiss his forehead and closed your eyes.

Bucky smiled and whispered, "I love you so much," before closing his eyes and falling back to sleep.

_**Maybe us monster should stick together.** _


End file.
